Absolute Territory
by Sunpops1
Summary: In which there's the salt squad and there's the mean (meme) squad. Or, Dirk, Dave, Eridan, and Sollux, are put on a job they can't turn down and the demons there are utter and complete dicks.


Dave was tired. It was 3 AM and the charred remains of what was giving him hell for the past hour lay at his splotchy red converse, blood, dirt and who knew what else staining the once expensive shoes. He stepped on what he assumed used to be the rib cage and watched as black ash rose in the air and drifted around. The flicker of the warehouse light illuminating it briefly.

He had a big gash in his arm, dripping crimson. Sollux told him to fix it and Dave immediately told the man to shut up because god damn don't tell him what to do he is a free man and allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants to do, he will pull up his black hoodie and snap his fingers, he will blow his bubblegum in your face Sollux and it's not just a phase and no one understands him.

The crack of bones, barely still there, and Dave made a disgusted face. "Like some overcooked pizza, god damn, even smells like one, I'm gonna barf." Sollux proceeded to laugh at his dismay and swing his arm around the shorter male's shoulder. "Swear to god I will blow my guts all over you if you keep up that snark."

The half demon made a face of disgust, laughed a little more, "Come on man, that's disgusting. let's go get Denny's or something I'm hungry, and your cranky ass probably is too." Sollux said, his lisp dulling the S's, Dave had laughed at him for it when they were kids, but at some point stopped caring and had become accustomed to the quirk.

"It's 3 AM."

"Your point is?"

Sollux shrugged and made a sound of agreement because in the end who did care, Denny's was the only place good in these unholy hours, that and some shady 7-11. But Dave didn't want another god damn encounter with one of these fuckers just because he was busy chugging down as much slushie straight from the machine before some sleep deprived employee managed to dislodge him from his rightful place under those nozzles and throw him out on his ass.

The warehouse district smelled of rotting fish, smoke and beer, a common place for dead dreams and alcoholics to waste their lives away.

It was also near Prospit, and a nice hideaway for demons.

Both Dave and Sollux hated this place, they got in their SUV, good for the kiddos and corpse space, Dave said to make Sollux get it, and started it. The parking lot was half destroyed, Dave didn't ask why, wasn't his business, but it made for a tricky maneuver to swerve around and out.

It was time for piles of pancakes, milkshakes, and a couple of burgers.

Cheese fries wouldn't hurt.

Dirk and Eridan's met them there, the two walking for half an hour from the cheap motel they were currently calling their shelter. The blonde and brunet sat across from them, the seats squeaking as they settled in. Dave suddenly felt short among all his comrades but he brushed it off because to be completely honest he was used to it by now.

"So do we have to leave, can we even check out at three in the morning?" There was Eridan, whining again. Sollux seemed to roll his eyes from behind his horrible, tacky, stolen from a movie theater 3D glasses.

"Of course we can. Anyone with a brain knows that." Eridan sneered, Dirk sighed and hit him upside his head as he sipped the coffee he stole from Dave, he then made a quip about how it had sugar in it, disgusting.

"If people can come at this time, and given that it's a motel six, they definitely can, we can almost certainly leave. We've done this before many times Eridan, how do you not know this?" Ah yes, Dirk, keep at it with those facts, please do us all a favor and shut up this fuck who normally can't stop whining.

Actually, Eridan might not be as bad as one may think he is, he's around six feet tall with a regular build, his brown hair has a tuft of gold in the front and is slicked back, his purple eyes behind sharp hipster frames, he whines a lot, he stabs a lot with a harpoon gun, scratch what was said before this man is a pile of salt in human form.

But at least he's part of the team. Part of the movement among humans to fight back against all the monsters that have been invading their lives. Part of the Salt-Squad, as Dave and Sollux deemed them on a drunk night in some sleazy diner after taking down a wendigo that had a repertoire of twenty murders in the span of a measly three months.

Dirk was the rationalization and strength, Eridan was in charge of long-distance attacks of all kinds, Dave was speed and agility, Sollux was the one with powers.

They worked well together.

Nights of driving and fighting continuously, raking in as much cash as Derse would give them, they were a team, a well oiled machine.

Dirk and Eridan ordered from the waitress, some tired girl around their age, probably a college student working this job and struggling to keep up with her classes simultaneously. She seemed unperturbed by them there, probably used to the assholes who came here at unholy hours of the night. Dirk got black coffee and an omelet, Eridan got a breakfast platter, telling the sleep deprived waitress five times that yes he wanted hash-browns not bacon with that.

"So what's our next job?" Sollux asked, he had olive skin, stretched and thin, a good build, his black hair a greasy mop on his head. His eyes were the corresponding colors of his paper eyewear, a strange feature, but given the fact he was, fifty-percent demon it justified the odd colors. "If it's like the one tonight you guys are getting it, I've had enough."

Dave rubbed at his now hastily bandaged forearm. "Yeah guys that shit was fucking stupidly hard, I mean, it's like that one test, the impossible test, you go in, thinking fuck, this will be easy despite the name or whatever and are just faced with, holy god damn shit, let me make you frustrated for the rest of the day and the entire next week by how horrible and difficult it is to just get over with."

"Well," Dirk grabs the plate and mug the woman offers and sets both things down, he takes a sip of coffee and starts cutting into his all veggie omelet. "We have some job in the Washington area, the Prospit group there has been rowdy and they're calling everyone to get in. We're short on numbers."

They all know what that means. Hunters had been dying.

"Some particular family got their hands on a cambion , decided to have a feast and have gone fucking insane since then." Dirk informed them, orange eyes probably narrowing from behind his sharp god-awful anime glasses.

"So we're just some canon fodder until they get the big guys coming in, right?" Dave asked, finishing his last bite of strawberry pan cake, syrup dripping down his face which was quickly wiped up with his napkin.

They were currently in California, some nameless town, they had gotten in the description they had now forgotten, they had killed a werewolf, now were faced with the fact they were going on some suicide

mission."Do we have to go?" Eridan asked, scowling. "They really don't need us and I don't want to waste my life doing some stupid shit trying to fight some demons hyped up on a cambion's blood. They have plenty of others there."

Dirk carded his hand through his strawberry blonde hair. "Unfortunately it's seen as treason if we don't. So we'll definitely die if we don't."

Dirk payed for their meal, thirty bucks, he told her to keep the change, and they were out the door. Dirk was the designated driver as he was the only one with good driving skills, Sollux didn't even know how to drive, but Dave and Eridan were just horrible at it. Sollux sat in the passenger seat, Eridan and Dave piling in the back. Their bags were already packed and stuffed in the trunk.

What few belongings they had that weren't already littered across the floor of the car.

Dave plugged in his phone and started playing some hipster band the others didn't recognize, some acoustic guitar and piano filtering through over some depressing lyrics. Sollux wrapped himself in yellow blanket and Eridan made a comment that it wasn't even cold in the car. Dirk stayed quiet and focused on the road as Dave quickly defended his best friend.

"He's probably just tired, after all we actually did work tonight." Dave said, Eridan made a sour face and huffed, looking away.

"Well it doesn't change the fact," Eridan pointed out, "It's not even cold in here."

Dirk finally spoke after a few more minutes of bickering. "Just shut up you three, we're almost there, it's hard to concentrate over your whining."

It wasn't even too close to Prospit, the town where the demons were. And there was a surprising lack of hunters. It was around 10 AM, everyone was sleeping, halfway through the drive, at some shady gas station, Dave had taken the wheel. They needed healthier schedules, but years of living on only a few hours had made it practically impossible to be normal anymore.

They checked in half-asleep and went up to their one shared room. The sheets had odd stains on them. Dirk, of course, replaced all of them promptly because that was fucking disgusting, he was not sleeping on those.

They looked over their job.

"There are four demons, two males and two females, they have managed to diminish our numbers greatly after acquiring a cambion, and eating the being alive. Cambions have special blood that gives powers to others." Sollux read, "They didn't add their part about how the cambion was supposed to be under their protection.

Dave scoffed. "You think they would. It protects their asses so of course they don't."

Dirk continued where Sollux left off, "They all have black hair, as well as green and blue eyes from the few accounts we have gathered. Their powers are but not limited to: Teleportation, manipulation, regenerative powers, hyper-speed, hyper-strength and night vision. They seem to be a mix of several demons, one pair is predominately hell-hound and the other seems mostly wendigo. It is presumed they're all related and a mesh of several types of demons. Mutts, but powerful ones, proceed with heavy caution, kill on sight."

Dirk continued, quieting the complaints the others were sure to have. "Dave and Eridan will patrol the East side of town, Sollux and me will get the West, we will start in an hour, if you even have a suspicion immediately send out an alarm via text, use the phrase, 'where are you' so it looks like you're just looking for someone."

"Do not try and engage in combat unless you have dire circumstances that requires you do."

They all nodded in affirmation.

After going over the map, every safe place and every place they needed to check out they set off. It was 1 PM.

Dave was still tired. And it was nearing 6 at night, he had been patrolling for five hours and had checked several sites where the demons had said to have been spotted. This was his second to last one, it would've been promising if not for a couple. It smelled like blood, and the dried pool in front of the ground and caution tape let him know, this one had gained too much attention.

Really not wanting to deal with the cops and the hunters who worked for them, he tried to leave only to be stopped by a hand grabbing his shoulder. "Hey cool kid where you going? You can't just check out this kind of scene all suspicious like in your totally rad shades and shit and just walk off like you don't look suspicious."

Shorter than him but not by much, the woman had red glasses and big curling lips, sharp shoulders and limbs jutting out awkwardly, contrasting her curved hips. "I'm just passing by, sorry. I was stopping here on a road trip with some friends, I heard there was an accident, but I didn't think I'd actually run into it." Dave said. Wanting to leave and get his errands over with.

The hand left his shoulder and the girl's eyes narrowed. "You're not lying."

"I'm actually not."

"It wasn't a question."

Dave promptly left.

The last scene was the farthest away, out near the beach, some small snack shop had been utterly destroyed and the people inside had been turned into an almost primarily red Jackson Pollock painting on the floor. Dave felt like vomiting just looking at the cleaned remains.

No bodies were left and the debris was cleared, Dave didn't expect to find anything. He was surprised when he did.

Well, it wasn't a thing.

It was a person-no demon- looking down at him with cutting blue eyes, black sclera and slits for pupils. The demon's sharp teeth were exposed as a grin broke out across his face and a hand quickly went for Dave's neck only to be stopped by the blonde flash-stepping away, his red eyes quickly widening and whipping out his sword.

He thanked his brother for his trained quick reaction time. The demon seemed at a loss of words as Dave now stood a couple feet away, sword drawn, the metal glinting in the moonlight. It was night now, dark, Dave was at a disadvantage. That was his first thought.

"A hunter? Awesome. I was hoping some more of you were coming around, you're always really good."

"I mean if we aren't tasty to you fuckers what else are we doing with our lives. Obviously if it isn't satisfactory to assholes like you we're doing something wrong." The sarcasm is real

The other seemed surprised by his response. And actually laughed some. Dave wasn't offended, he had dealt with guys like this before. He would go for his phone first chance he got but for now he was busy blocking the lunge the other made at him.

The rune covered katana sliced down at the demon managing to make a gash across the other's palm, the demon hissed at the silver making contact with his skin and Dave actually smirked. The other seemed more enraged now though and Dave quickly lost his smile.

A gust of wind blew him off his feet, he tumbled back a little bit before he managed to regain his footing in the squeaking sand, his sweaty grip tightened on his sword. "Now that's unfair." No respite for Dave, the demon was pissed now, it came faster, it was harder for Dave to block the swipe of claws, the extra force of harsh winds made it harder to raise his sword.

The demon missed and Dave took advantage of this, this time he managed to get a large gash across the demon's chest, he didn't account for the hand wrapping around his sword though.

He was blown back, he skidded across the sand and found himself with his back smashing against the rocky cliffs of nowhere beach in nowhere Washington.

Dave wasn't able to stop the hand from wrapping around his neck this time.

"You're a pretty good fighter you know that? Usually people don't even last this long. I mean, if I weren't stronger now you would've done some good damage to me before." The grip loosened but Dave's sword was wrenched away as he tried to cut in desperation. "Maybe even have killed me."

Dave could see the other better now, black fluffy hair wild on his head, a couple of unorganized cowlicks kicking up in the front, it was shaved on the sides. The demon had thick glasses, a strong jaw, narrowed eyes, and a nose that was more flat then anything. His canines were still flashing and his sharp nails dug into Dave's neck, that and his flashing eyes were what reminded Dave this was in fact a demon.

"You're pretty scrawny to me now though. What to do with you..." The demon tapped their chin with their free hand in thought.

Dave didn't let them finish thinking, interrupting them with a quick double kick, one connecting to the other's stomach and the other managing to slam against his knee cap.

The demon dropped him and Dave quickly maneuvered and went for his sword. He was suddenly wishing this was a more populated town and someone was down by this abandoned beach.

His hand grasped for the handle only for a foot to slam in-between his shoulder blades. Dave coughed out as his face got forced into the sand. Dave tried to stab back at the awkward angle but the other foot kicked his sword away.

Dave was suddenly scared. Well, he was always scared and paranoid but now he was powerless and he felt himself start to hyperventilate and desperately stretch for his sword.

"Well that was rude. You should be glad I'm going easy on you blondie." The demon kneeled down, making the pressure increase and causing Dave to wheeze. Hand wound around his own and pinned them above his head.

"So what's your name mysterious hunter?"

Dave was caught off guard, "Why the hell do you need to know? Like, my name is some sacred shit okay, can't even grace your ears, I mean, it is like, locked up in a cage and put down in a basement. I mean no one can get to it. You really don't want to know."

A growl. "Okay fine. I'm John. Now you have to tell me."

"Really?"

Claws dug at his hair and craned Dave's neck back. Another growl. "Tell me."

A wheezed out reply from how his neck was stretching. "Dave Strider. Now can I go?"

There was a chuckle and the release of his head to fall back on the ground. "Not so fast, we should really get to know each other. Just be glad you aren't dead yet."

"You really have no idea how to sweeten it up do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly."

Dave was being flipped around. "Terezi told me some kid like you was snoopin' around. Didn't think you were actually a hunter, just said you were my type, but this makes it all better." Dave promptly smashed his knee into the demon's balls and scrambled away.

"I mean, I don't know, if you weren't a demon trying to kill me I would definitely try you out, but unfortunately-" It was a bad idea to think he was home free just yet apparently.

Bad idea apparently as an even louder more ferocious growl resounded from the man's throat, this time he was too fast. He was suddenly back on the ground and the man was larger then before. Leather wings spread from his back, antlers on his head, nails sharper and much longer. They really were a dangerous breed and Dave suddenly found himself wanting to ask for mercy.

Incubus, wendigo, who knew what else, the demon definitely had worse breath as it was suddenly much closer than Dave wished. "Wait-okay-let's calm down there-John right?"

This time John's knees were on his thighs, his hand was gripping his and the other was holding his jaw tight.

Dave thought he was going to die.

There was a slash of metal and blood clouded his vision for a moment.

Dirk stood there, the demon, John, screeched and held his shoulder that was lying limp almost completely having his arm cut off.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus-" John made another sound, a growl, aiming to attack Dirk, but something seemed to stop him mid way.

"I'll be back for you, little shits-" John was then wind, a bright flash of green enveloped him and Dave was left there speechless.

"How'd you find me Dirk."

"You weren't replying and I didn't hear about anything going down in the city, deducted this was the only place you could be. Now let's go get a shower, you're covered in fucking sand."

"Fair enough."


End file.
